"tootie"

I didn't know that I wasn't really breathing. Until yesterday when Delsie's vet called with the result from a biopsy. "Holly, it's great news. The growth was benign oil glands." I literally felt my body release all the tension as I exhaled. Who knew a pimple could provide such joy.

Last Monday, Delsie had an "emergency" surgery to remove a growth that developed rapidly by her mouth. She did fine. And Dr. Bader takes such good care of her. Me? I was a wreck. It has been over nine years since Delsie has been by my side. Nine of the fifteen years that I have been living with this dreaded disability.

Anxiously waiting for me to see her after the surgey confirmed the fact that she makes life do-able for me. She helps me breath. Everyday. With FA. I can breath even though I have FA. Thanks to Delsie.

Going out to train with her for three weeks in PA, was one of the hardest things I have done. But by far, one the most rewarding things in my life.

It is true that as she gets older, the gas she omits underneath my desk at work can actually burn my nose hairs. What a minor thing to compared to her "job" that helps me face the challenges of FA.

Every night Delsie jumps on her toddler bed next to my bed. We prepare to sleep for the night as I massage her and sing,
"You are my sunshine,
my only sunshine,
you make me happy,
when skies are grey,
you'll never know, Dels,
how much I love you,
thanks for helping me live,
one more day."

I love you D-dog.

and thanks FA, because of you,
I have her, my pretty girl.

ice=joy

I love this photo. To me, it portrays so much more than Delsie being her cute self in the coffee shop at my place of employment. I was laughing when I snapped this shot and I snicker every time I look at it.
See, Delsie knows exactly what she is doing. She ain't no dummy. She loves ice. I mean LOVES it. Frozen water speaks to her in ways that produce the wagging of the tail and smile on her face. Just the mere sound of the shaking of ice in a glass, causes her stop dead in tracks and hone in on the location in case one is "spilled". ICE translates into another three letter word for Delsie: JOY.
So on this particular day after I filled my cup cappuccino and started to head up to my office for the day, I realized Delsie was not by my side. This was her pose. A solid statue planted next to the ice machine. Waiting expectantly and hopeful for a passer-by to notice her and "drop" a few cubes her way.

This morning I read, "Our human tendency is to feel trapped by visual situations. But circumstantial evidence is not the truth of a matter. It is deceptive. God's assessment is always the truth of every situation. And it doesn't include our being trapped by superficial appearances."

These past few weeks, I felt trapped. I didn't ground myself in the truth. My eyes were fixated on the current circumstance. This deception led me to believe the lies. And my body got the best of me. I admit that I wasn't patient in my waiting for the ICE or more importantly the JOY. It's all around us.

Coffee shops or friends visits, emails or phone calls.

Similar to Delsie, I will wait expectantly and HOPE for a cure for FA.

Until then, a lot of tail wagging will happen.
With D and me.