holy discontent

Flying back from my appointment at USF on Monday, my friend and I were discussing -okay, yelling over the planes engine, the happenings at the appointment earlier that morning. It was all so overwhelming- it still is.
She reminded me of a conference we attended together four years ago in which the speaker asked us to write down what our "Holy Discontent" was in our lives. "I wrote your name down, Holly. I hated that we were watching you waste away. I felt like we had to do something."
Tears streamed down my face as I realized God knew she would be the one to witness the miracle in the doctors office that day. I was so overcome with a sense of God's love for me as I thought of so many of my family and friends, like she, who believed in me and encouraged me to hang on. There is hope. There always is hope.
And I felt it like I never had before when I was asked to run through the series of physical tests they challenge me with each month. The first month certain things that were asked of me to do were impossible. Physically impossible and emotionally discouraging. A holy discontent.
This visit, although it is still not known if I am on Chantix, the tasks I had to perform were do-able! I can not remember the last time I stood on my own without any assistance. To the "abled" bodied person, the above video may seem minor but as FA has robbed my ability to stand, this video means so much. I was even able to steady myself when I felt I would lose my balance. If that weren't enough to believe in miracles, Dr. Z gathered a team of doctors to witness me walking 50 feet with just Delsie!! The feeling was so bizarre to me, physically and emotionally, I didn't know if I was going to throw up or cry. Thankfully, I cried. No, I wept.
I know we still have a long way to go for the cure of FA but I don't think my friend is as discontent anymore...
I am walking and standing on Holy ground.
AMAZING!