my new best friend

I cry when I finish a really good book. The ending doesn't even have to be sad. If I loved the book and I turn the last page. I weep. For real. Like sob out loud and bellow, "oooooooooooooooh, that was so good." or "noooooooooooo, I don't want it to be over." And then I immediately think of at least five friends that I need to buy a copy for so they can share in my new obsession with the author that is now my best friend. I spend time googling the author and watching every video posted on youtube and stare at every photo I can find of this fantastic writer that reveals a bit of who they are. The Internet is a crazy, fascinating tool! The fact that people can read my "diary" is kind of freaky. Yes, I know it's totally bizarre that I put it all out there for anyone to read.
Which brings me back to the point I was making earlier about discovering a story that captivates you. Glennon Doyle Melton in "Carry On, Warrior" did just that for me-she put it all out there. The fact that I refer to her with three names just proves the fact that I don't really know her. But I think I do. Or I need to. OK, I'll admit that I want to be her buddy. I want to be able to stop over at her house and hug her and say thank you, Glennon Doyle Melton. And just bawl and tell her we have absolutely nothing in common. I would then go on to tell her that I just lied and apologize because true friends don't lie. I would grab her hand (in my dreams, I am not in a wheelchair) and through my tears tell her that I am trying my best to love God, too. I would confess that I feel stuck and so lonely and even scared but after reading her words, I know these feelings are just fine. I thank her again while squeezing a little harder (I never let go of her hand) and I probably would grab her other hand with my free hand and smile and say, "I can do the hard things now. Because of this book. Your words."
I am sure at this point Glennon Doyle Melton would be totally freaked out and before I grabbed her other hand, she gestured to her oldest son, Chase, (good friends know their friends kids name) to call 9-1-1. I am not totally sure what gesture she used, but he would know. Chase is smart. Before the cops show up and handcuff me and tell me I have the right to remain silent, I hug Glennon Doyle Melton for the last time and walk backwards to my car (it would be my Montero since I am not in my wheelchair *sigh*) while blowing her kisses.
I am sure you can tell this book had a profound effect on me. I want to live differently because of Glennon Doyle Melton. I need to purge all my "uglies" and trust that in His time, He will make them beautiful. That's what He does. So instead of viewing FA as this three headed monster that is never welcomed, I am challenged to embrace FA and know that doing the hard thing, is learning and loving Him.
Glennon Doyle Melton says so.
Like page 262-263 in Carry On, Warrior: "My destiny is to remind you to look up from the castles you're building in the sand  long enough to notice the cathedrals that God's building all around you-without you, without your sweat, without your tears, without your consent. While you dream your dreams, he's busy building your destiny. And there is as much beauty in your destiny as there was in your dream. Let go and believe that whatever it is, it will be beautiful." 

...and Gungor tells us too in this song.  Click here and then put it on repeat.

"Lady" Ga Ga treating me as if I were Glennon Doyle Melton