bittersweet

I am surrounded by things that don't make sense. Life hurts. Many, many things that I can't wrap my mind around. Tears that fall and no one to catch them. Questions that are asked and shoulders are shrugged. Prayers that are made and just silence is heard. That's life. And in a bizarre way, I think that's what makes it so bittersweet.
I have been told a lot that I am going to have a lot to talk to God about when I see Jesus face to face. I just shake my head and smile, "I don't think it will matter." I won't feel the bitter. It will be sweet.
But now I live with the bittersweet of Friedreich's Ataxia. And this visit I heard some sweet news. I hope D. Z doesn't read this blog. This neurological thing is beyond me so I will attempt to describe how I understand it. FA is a progressive disease. It moves from the spine into then into the cerebellum. Although I detest the progression, I am thankful for the timing of it all. Through this study, it has been determined that Chantix is proving to be beneficial for those in a certain window. If I would have been "new" with FA, I probably wouldn't have noticed a change while taking the drug. If I had progressed with the FA, I more than likely would have been too late to feel any benefits. I am in the window! I am responding to Chantix.
This study is way beyond my intelligence to wrap my mind around but my tears are caught and the prayers are heard.
A reminder that it's all in His timing. The window. How sweet it is.