while I'm waiting...

This is the view from my family room window. Delsie and I are going nuts. Honestly, Delsie seems content, it's me- I'm trying to be patient. For what? The hope of waking up to the sound of birds chirping and the smell of fresh cut grass. I can't wait. Fresh air. Neighbors. Beams of sun. Reading a book outside. Breathing. Feeling my toes again. Taking a shower to cool off. Sprinklers. Flowers. Bare feet. This, too, shall pass. My mantra.
Patience. Am I peaceful in the waiting?
I am scheduled to speak at a women's conference entitled, "In the Spirit of Peace" at the end of this month. Pressures on and time is ticking away. My prayers begin with a plea for God's direction and then end with ways He could provide hope for me. Me, me, me....wahhhhhh.
Wow- selfish. But He is so patient. Just waiting for me to get it.
I have a LONG ways to go but I do know having FA has forced me to be patient in areas I know I would have taken for granted in the past. I live life in slow-mo compared to the "norm" and yet, this way of doing life is normal for me.
I am not sure where this study will bring me or the hope of finding a treatment or cure for FA. The fight is not over. In some ways, it has just begun. There are days that life seems to be in slow-mo. Freezing. Grey. Numb. Drab. Boring. Winter.
But there is hope. Spring is around the corner. A treatment or cure for FA is rounding the bend too. I can't give up. So I prepare for my next visit to FL this weekend. After that, I taper off the drug. I am dreading it but I must be patient.
He always is.
and He will help me find the peace in PAtiEnCE.